We haven't posted because we've had such a difficult time adjusting. I ended up with what they call International traveller's stomach and then ended up having a reaction to the meds to treat it. So much for catching up on sleep. Next time I'll be more careful about eating fresh vegetables but I also think it is a reaction to stress. Each time I think of our daughter to be left in the orphanage, it's like a knife twisting in my stomach. Mike had an abrasion on his eye he needed checking out. It required the consult of a specialist the same day, so within three days there were a total of four drs. visits. So... we've been keeping a low profile.
Yesterday, we completed the formal petition to adopt and sent it to Richmond. The most cumbersome part of that process was selecting a name. Mike had to fly out yesterday in CA, so I had two copies printed with two different names on it and as we flew in the bank to have the petition notarized moments before he needed to be at the airport, it was pretty much eeny, meeny, miny, mo. I'm still not confident about what I chose, but there are more important things about having a daughter, right?
Next time we'll remember to book care for our kids for an additional week so we can recover when we get back, except there will be THREE!!!!!!!! Thanks to all those who helped out this week, and are continuing to help, we really appreciate the prayers, emotional support and just good old fashioned care for our boys.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006
We are home safely!
I was just looking at the comments - they are very highly appreciated. Mike suggested that I mention that we are home, we are exhausted and to not call us tonight. After about four hours sleep we got up at 2:20 am to leave Perm and travel back home via Frankfurt. Total travel time: approx. 18 hours. We'll tell you all more tomorrow when we are rested and hopefully post some pics to a snapfish account.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
9/13/06 Last post in country
I expect this will be our last post in country. I was called away to speak to someone back home so left abrubtly. Communication is difficult. We get internet in a business center in the hotel and sometimes cannot get access. It took us a few days to figure it out. We can't call out, have arranged for our family at home to call us once a day at 6am.
Today we are glad this is our last day. Sleep has been the biggest challenge. We started out with a disadvantage because we left at night (Thursday) and were already awake over 30 hours when we arrived here. We were going on 44 hours by the time night came on Saturday. As some of you know, I can barely sleep in my own bed, so I have been quite the wreck. Michael isn't doing much better though I've heard him snore some. I finally had to tell him to stop saying, "I'm so tired" because it was getting on my nerves. We are strung out on sleep aids and still only sleeping about 4-5 hrs. a night and can't nap AT ALL. We wake at 4 am as do the other couples here that are here for the same reason. We have had a wonderful time socializing with them (10+) and have joked about having group therapy at 4am in the lobby. It's really like summer camp for PAPs. (prospective ____ ____) I am prone to crying jags and our host keeps saying don't cry. In fact, today I'm going to cry all day with no shame at all! I am afraid she thinks it's because of something undesirable about the baby, and of course nothing could be further from the truth! Hopefully somebody will just knock us out when we get home and we will sleep through the weekend.
Did we say we have tickets to the ballet tonight - a whole other story!
Of course our biggest sadness is to leave peanut. Our host promised me she would visit and hold her and of course I cried (again). I mourn for her to go back to the world of minimal interaction with faces. The caretakers work so hard but it is all they can do to meet the basic needs 24/7. Please pray that we can expedite all the remaining paperwork required so that we can get a date for court (2nd trip) as quickly as possible.
We would love to show you photos here but we hope you will understand it may cause some problems for us until things are finalized. We will certainly use other methods to share once we are home! All we can say is that she is adorable and a great fit for our family in every way - except that she is as active as son #2 part.
Please tell anyone you know who is in this process home or abroad to stay with the course. The children need homes and it is such an honor to personally be a part of this. We know the process is grueling in multiple ways but so fulfilling and worthwhile in the end. Pray, pray, pray that the other babies we saw get homes too -- soon. I am making a point of speaking to them while they sit on their chamber pots (potty training for babies because they don't have diapers).
I am glad you are enjoying the blog and we will talk to you all soon! Thank you for your prayers and your comments. We love reading them!
Today we are glad this is our last day. Sleep has been the biggest challenge. We started out with a disadvantage because we left at night (Thursday) and were already awake over 30 hours when we arrived here. We were going on 44 hours by the time night came on Saturday. As some of you know, I can barely sleep in my own bed, so I have been quite the wreck. Michael isn't doing much better though I've heard him snore some. I finally had to tell him to stop saying, "I'm so tired" because it was getting on my nerves. We are strung out on sleep aids and still only sleeping about 4-5 hrs. a night and can't nap AT ALL. We wake at 4 am as do the other couples here that are here for the same reason. We have had a wonderful time socializing with them (10+) and have joked about having group therapy at 4am in the lobby. It's really like summer camp for PAPs. (prospective ____ ____) I am prone to crying jags and our host keeps saying don't cry. In fact, today I'm going to cry all day with no shame at all! I am afraid she thinks it's because of something undesirable about the baby, and of course nothing could be further from the truth! Hopefully somebody will just knock us out when we get home and we will sleep through the weekend.
Did we say we have tickets to the ballet tonight - a whole other story!
Of course our biggest sadness is to leave peanut. Our host promised me she would visit and hold her and of course I cried (again). I mourn for her to go back to the world of minimal interaction with faces. The caretakers work so hard but it is all they can do to meet the basic needs 24/7. Please pray that we can expedite all the remaining paperwork required so that we can get a date for court (2nd trip) as quickly as possible.
We would love to show you photos here but we hope you will understand it may cause some problems for us until things are finalized. We will certainly use other methods to share once we are home! All we can say is that she is adorable and a great fit for our family in every way - except that she is as active as son #2 part.
Please tell anyone you know who is in this process home or abroad to stay with the course. The children need homes and it is such an honor to personally be a part of this. We know the process is grueling in multiple ways but so fulfilling and worthwhile in the end. Pray, pray, pray that the other babies we saw get homes too -- soon. I am making a point of speaking to them while they sit on their chamber pots (potty training for babies because they don't have diapers).
I am glad you are enjoying the blog and we will talk to you all soon! Thank you for your prayers and your comments. We love reading them!
9/13/06 We've accepted referral!
We have been smiled upon by God and really blessed by this trip. There really was no doubt when we met this little girl, who I will call ¨peanut¨ that she was coming home with us. It was pretty much the defining moment when they told me she danced to music. They ran and got the tape player and indeed she dances to music, swaying back and forth as she holds onto the side of the playpen with one hand. I started crying.
An independent doctor evaluated her on Monday to inform us of her current status and she really looks great. Recent tests showed her not to be at risk for some serious conditions that were originally a concern and she is measuring bigger than was stated on the medicals we received initially, especially in terms of her head circumference. We joke that it has grown 2 cm larger since we arrived. She is now easily on the chart in terms of head circumference, an extremely good thing.
She is interacting with us very well. I don´t remember what I said in the previous post, but at first she seemed more interested in her toys than our faces. Within days, this was reversed. She responds as though she recognizes us when we come and is more dependent on us for physical comfort. She also has come down with a little cold, as have all the babies in her group, so we are really enjoy some cuddling time with her. Poor peanut was just getting the cold when the dr. examined her and it was frustrating to see her prompted to perform all her tricks, crawling, cruising, when she really just wanted to plant her head down in the big playpen and rest. She did an excellent job vocalizing for her. Apparently, the Russian babytalk is the key, an area where we are profoundly lacking! Oddly enough, she is not delayed at all, fine motor, gross motor, speech. She is now 15.2 lbs. I find it odd given the circumstances as the orphanage is not a good place for these children to thrive. They are so resilient. The ¨leap of faith¨aspect of this is so amazing. There are maybe ten babies in her group and if I was assigned another child, I am sure I would have found myself thinking about her. Hard to know.
I have to go now. post more later.
An independent doctor evaluated her on Monday to inform us of her current status and she really looks great. Recent tests showed her not to be at risk for some serious conditions that were originally a concern and she is measuring bigger than was stated on the medicals we received initially, especially in terms of her head circumference. We joke that it has grown 2 cm larger since we arrived. She is now easily on the chart in terms of head circumference, an extremely good thing.
She is interacting with us very well. I don´t remember what I said in the previous post, but at first she seemed more interested in her toys than our faces. Within days, this was reversed. She responds as though she recognizes us when we come and is more dependent on us for physical comfort. She also has come down with a little cold, as have all the babies in her group, so we are really enjoy some cuddling time with her. Poor peanut was just getting the cold when the dr. examined her and it was frustrating to see her prompted to perform all her tricks, crawling, cruising, when she really just wanted to plant her head down in the big playpen and rest. She did an excellent job vocalizing for her. Apparently, the Russian babytalk is the key, an area where we are profoundly lacking! Oddly enough, she is not delayed at all, fine motor, gross motor, speech. She is now 15.2 lbs. I find it odd given the circumstances as the orphanage is not a good place for these children to thrive. They are so resilient. The ¨leap of faith¨aspect of this is so amazing. There are maybe ten babies in her group and if I was assigned another child, I am sure I would have found myself thinking about her. Hard to know.
I have to go now. post more later.
Monday, September 11, 2006
9/10/06 - We've met her!
Note - we typed what follows on Sunday, but couldn't get it uploaded onto the hotel computer and then to this blog until today:
There is no other way to describe this experience than surreal. In the last 3 days we flew 1/3 the way around the world. We've logged about 8 hours sleep total. We've spent an afternoon in the beautiful European city of Frankfurt where we took a day hotel room to primarily store our luggage because we couldn't sleep. We've flown into the eerie, foggy night of the former Soviet Union, wondering what lay ahead of us as we huddled together on the empty plane, prayed and gazed out at the little lights that dotted the towns far below. We've looked at each other and said, how did we get here, what are we doing, what if, what if, what if? We anticipated having a day and a half to recover from our trip before "show time" Monday morning. Our host had other plans and surprises in store and shared them with us as we left the airport in the pre- morning dawn.
Within three hours of arriving, we are escorted along country roads to an orphanage. We expect to meet with the orphanage doctor first. When we arrive, we walk through concrete covered hallways that are eerily devoid of sound and enter a reception area. Without warning, our host disappears for a moment and returns with a precious baby girl with delicate porcelain features and blue eyes. We are so tired, we can barely register what is happening; it is difficult to recall even now. We fumble and somehow manage to do what comes naturally when presented with such a gift. Michael holds her first; she does not object. She is sleepy at first and lays her head on his shoulder. Not realizing she is just awake from a nap, I wonder if this is the same active child we saw in the video. We are motioned to go to the doctor's office to hear about her medical information. The child goes with us and our host holds her while we sit in front of his desk. We try to display respect and seriously consider the information the doctor provides, but are distracted by the less than serious reactions of the baby, who is responding to the attention of our host. She is now standing and becoming more engaged by the moment.
After the discussion with the doctor, we spend an hour with this little girl. She is nearly 10 months old. She sits up, she crawls, she pulls up and cruises. She loves a butterfly toy that another family brought for the babies and looks for it when it disappears from sight. We feed her in a high chair and I say, with all honesty and no exaggeration, that she eats more at one sitting than either of our children. She consumes an ample bowl (about 1 cup) of cabbage, meat and potatoes mashed together, all while looking for one of us to pop up over the tray of her high chair. She drinks broth from a cup. She is very alert and responsive to sound or activity. She is really into the butterfly - did I say that already - but will not hesitate to respond to us when she is reminded we are there. Understandably she is not used to so much attention. We initiate some games and she catches on to the fact that she will be kissed on the side of the head if she pursues us with her walker. She is animated but quiet, but finally we get her to make some sound as she face plants into Michael's open palms. We are pretty taken with her; she is quite a peach. Our independent doctor arrives on Monday and will give her a thorough physical evaluation and we will tell us we need to know, although I think we already know...
Our hotel is comfortable. We go to a business center to access a computer and the internet on a card purchased from the front desk. We've met two other couples here for the same purpose. It's very enjoyable to spend time with them and hear about their young son, who is in the same baby home. We eat dinner with one couple at another's hotel's restaurant on Saturday night. The food is phenomenal and reasonable. Mike has beef stroganoff with potatoes. I have green salad with goat cheese croutons and baked potatoes stuffed with cheese and vegetables. Even with bottled soda, the bill is less than $25 U.S. Our hotel has a breakfast buffet that is traditionally Russian; cabbage, salad-like items, some pancakes wrapped around jam or curds and yogurt. I wish we brought more food with us like some peanut butter and our cereal but are managing to snack on some things mid-day.
Our main challenge is sleep. We went to bed last night at 10 and woke up before 3. It's 6 now as I'm writing and we will see the baby again at 3. I guess we will continue to nap here and there. I'm going to sign off now and will share more in a day or two.
There is no other way to describe this experience than surreal. In the last 3 days we flew 1/3 the way around the world. We've logged about 8 hours sleep total. We've spent an afternoon in the beautiful European city of Frankfurt where we took a day hotel room to primarily store our luggage because we couldn't sleep. We've flown into the eerie, foggy night of the former Soviet Union, wondering what lay ahead of us as we huddled together on the empty plane, prayed and gazed out at the little lights that dotted the towns far below. We've looked at each other and said, how did we get here, what are we doing, what if, what if, what if? We anticipated having a day and a half to recover from our trip before "show time" Monday morning. Our host had other plans and surprises in store and shared them with us as we left the airport in the pre- morning dawn.
Within three hours of arriving, we are escorted along country roads to an orphanage. We expect to meet with the orphanage doctor first. When we arrive, we walk through concrete covered hallways that are eerily devoid of sound and enter a reception area. Without warning, our host disappears for a moment and returns with a precious baby girl with delicate porcelain features and blue eyes. We are so tired, we can barely register what is happening; it is difficult to recall even now. We fumble and somehow manage to do what comes naturally when presented with such a gift. Michael holds her first; she does not object. She is sleepy at first and lays her head on his shoulder. Not realizing she is just awake from a nap, I wonder if this is the same active child we saw in the video. We are motioned to go to the doctor's office to hear about her medical information. The child goes with us and our host holds her while we sit in front of his desk. We try to display respect and seriously consider the information the doctor provides, but are distracted by the less than serious reactions of the baby, who is responding to the attention of our host. She is now standing and becoming more engaged by the moment.
After the discussion with the doctor, we spend an hour with this little girl. She is nearly 10 months old. She sits up, she crawls, she pulls up and cruises. She loves a butterfly toy that another family brought for the babies and looks for it when it disappears from sight. We feed her in a high chair and I say, with all honesty and no exaggeration, that she eats more at one sitting than either of our children. She consumes an ample bowl (about 1 cup) of cabbage, meat and potatoes mashed together, all while looking for one of us to pop up over the tray of her high chair. She drinks broth from a cup. She is very alert and responsive to sound or activity. She is really into the butterfly - did I say that already - but will not hesitate to respond to us when she is reminded we are there. Understandably she is not used to so much attention. We initiate some games and she catches on to the fact that she will be kissed on the side of the head if she pursues us with her walker. She is animated but quiet, but finally we get her to make some sound as she face plants into Michael's open palms. We are pretty taken with her; she is quite a peach. Our independent doctor arrives on Monday and will give her a thorough physical evaluation and we will tell us we need to know, although I think we already know...
Our hotel is comfortable. We go to a business center to access a computer and the internet on a card purchased from the front desk. We've met two other couples here for the same purpose. It's very enjoyable to spend time with them and hear about their young son, who is in the same baby home. We eat dinner with one couple at another's hotel's restaurant on Saturday night. The food is phenomenal and reasonable. Mike has beef stroganoff with potatoes. I have green salad with goat cheese croutons and baked potatoes stuffed with cheese and vegetables. Even with bottled soda, the bill is less than $25 U.S. Our hotel has a breakfast buffet that is traditionally Russian; cabbage, salad-like items, some pancakes wrapped around jam or curds and yogurt. I wish we brought more food with us like some peanut butter and our cereal but are managing to snack on some things mid-day.
Our main challenge is sleep. We went to bed last night at 10 and woke up before 3. It's 6 now as I'm writing and we will see the baby again at 3. I guess we will continue to nap here and there. I'm going to sign off now and will share more in a day or two.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
9/9/06 We've arrived safely
After a whirlwind adventure through several time zones we flew into Russia in the middle of the night. Our coordinator met us at the airport and after remarking that we must be tired, informed us that instead of waiting till Monday to meet a child, we would meet her this morning after a few hours at the hotel. We were stunned, tired and unprepared but willing to do as we were told to do. We were impressed with an adorable child but need to wait to share more. We look forward to meeting the doctor on Monday and spending more time with her in the next few days. Now we have to get to bed! Frankly, this whole process so far is quite surreal!
Friday, September 08, 2006
9/8/06 In Germany
Jill and I have had an eventful trip so far. We had boarded last night and were sitting back in economy (which, along with business was oversold, so we were resigned to a long night), when a flight attendant came back with two boarding passes for business. We collected our things and moved up, only to find the current occupants of those seats in some sort of disagreement with the flight attendant. She asked us to hang out in the galley area while she resolved the problem. We never figured out exactly what was going on, but the two people in the business class seats we were headed toward swapped with two other people in business, and we were beckoned forward into first class. We, of course, were very happy to comply. So, instead of a long cramped night in economy, we had a leisurely flight up in first class, with excellent food and our own personal movies. The only thing that could have been better would have been if we were on a 777 or a 747 with the first class seats that fold out completely flat, but that is just a nit.
When we checked in, Jill mentioned the purpose of our trip to the gate agent, and we think that he marked us for a free upgrade if one was available. One of the flight attendants mentioned that what started it all was a United employee coming on board with her small daughter, and she said something about having to be in economy in that case, so we got lucky.
We arrived in Frankfurt early this AM, and decided to get a day room at the Sheraton at the airport. We slept for a couple hours, then took the train into the city center, walked around, and had lunch at an outdoor cafe. Jill had a vegetable tart and I had a delicious potato soup with sausage. We returned to the hotel for a bit more sleep and a hot shower, then headed back to the airport. We are now sitting in the Lufthansa Senator lounge waiting for the next leg of our journey.
Jill will add her views later, so I'll sign off for now. By the way, we weren't able to access our email from here, so leaving comments on the blog might be the best way to respond. We enjoying reading the comments.
When we checked in, Jill mentioned the purpose of our trip to the gate agent, and we think that he marked us for a free upgrade if one was available. One of the flight attendants mentioned that what started it all was a United employee coming on board with her small daughter, and she said something about having to be in economy in that case, so we got lucky.
We arrived in Frankfurt early this AM, and decided to get a day room at the Sheraton at the airport. We slept for a couple hours, then took the train into the city center, walked around, and had lunch at an outdoor cafe. Jill had a vegetable tart and I had a delicious potato soup with sausage. We returned to the hotel for a bit more sleep and a hot shower, then headed back to the airport. We are now sitting in the Lufthansa Senator lounge waiting for the next leg of our journey.
Jill will add her views later, so I'll sign off for now. By the way, we weren't able to access our email from here, so leaving comments on the blog might be the best way to respond. We enjoying reading the comments.
Monday, September 04, 2006
9/4/06 Preparing to go
We are knee-deep in departure activities and will fly out later this week. Last week, we were enthused to receive a lot more medical and developmental information about the child we've been referred. We are feeling alot more confident about meeting her. She's definitely on the small size for age, but hopefully this is due to the circumstances of living in an orphanage and is not indicative of a more serious underlying problem.
In Russia, there are currently about 300,000 children in orphanages. Foster care is rare. Children are in orphanages for a variety of reasons. The parent(s) may have been economically challenged, had too many other children to care for, or have been physically unable to care for their children. The child may have had a medical condition the parent(s) did not have the resources to treat. Many of the children in orphanages are not available for adoption because their family has not formally given up their rights. Children may linger for years with no hope of a permanent home.
In the process of preparing to adopt, prospective parents have to be clear about their expectations for the child, the needs of the existing family, tolerance for risk and most importantly, the role of faith. Many children have developmental delays and nutritional deficits. Many have health problems that are treatable in the United States. Some have more serious disorders that cause life-long impairment. Attachment disorder (RAD) can be an issue because children may not have experienced trust and continuity from their caregivers to meet their ongoing needs.
We know that there are risks; we are not immune to the articles and the personal stories of adopted children and their families who face challenges. We have had frank discussions about what we are prepared to contend with. We also know that life is full of unknown risks. God calls us to leave our comfort zone and step out in faith, especially in situations where others may be helped. We are also aware of the significant costs of adoption and raising additional children and yet we know there are few better investments. We can only find peace in knowing that God will prepare us for whatever obstacles or challenges we may face. We ask for your prayers for our journey!
In Russia, there are currently about 300,000 children in orphanages. Foster care is rare. Children are in orphanages for a variety of reasons. The parent(s) may have been economically challenged, had too many other children to care for, or have been physically unable to care for their children. The child may have had a medical condition the parent(s) did not have the resources to treat. Many of the children in orphanages are not available for adoption because their family has not formally given up their rights. Children may linger for years with no hope of a permanent home.
In the process of preparing to adopt, prospective parents have to be clear about their expectations for the child, the needs of the existing family, tolerance for risk and most importantly, the role of faith. Many children have developmental delays and nutritional deficits. Many have health problems that are treatable in the United States. Some have more serious disorders that cause life-long impairment. Attachment disorder (RAD) can be an issue because children may not have experienced trust and continuity from their caregivers to meet their ongoing needs.
We know that there are risks; we are not immune to the articles and the personal stories of adopted children and their families who face challenges. We have had frank discussions about what we are prepared to contend with. We also know that life is full of unknown risks. God calls us to leave our comfort zone and step out in faith, especially in situations where others may be helped. We are also aware of the significant costs of adoption and raising additional children and yet we know there are few better investments. We can only find peace in knowing that God will prepare us for whatever obstacles or challenges we may face. We ask for your prayers for our journey!
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