It has been a long time since we have given an update. I do apologize and often think of posting. We are spread thin with our new addition. Energy and free time is a premium and I have been waiting for a week when things seem more balanced.
We have been home with Helena for nearly two months. The time has really gone fast. Within the first month, she gained a pound and a half and grew over an inch! She is now fitting into 12 month size clothes! Improved nutrition and the stimulation of our family is helping her grow at twice the rate as she did in the previous months. She is on finger foods except for yogurt or cereal, which she wants to feed herself anyway. She loves boca burgers, tofu, whole wheat bread and bananas. Jacob recently gave her his Popsicle and she liked it, of course.
Helena is a lovely little girl and in some ways she and the boys have adjusted quicker than her parents. She behaves as though this has always been her home and over stimulation doesn't seem to be an issue for her. Currently, she is saying “da” and “Jacob” very clearly. She also says “ma,” but not necessarily in relation to her mama. She has all kinds of intonations for "uh oh," and jabbers quite a bit in reaction to her environment. She throws kisses and also kisses us on the lips, and sometimes with her tongue which we so enjoy when she is sick! She regularly seeks out books and brings them to us to read to her.
We no longer take responsibility for the mess in the house. It is clearly all Helena's fault. She walks around like a tornado, tearing dishcloths off the racks in the kitchen, pulling appliances and tupperware out of the cabinets, and taking her bottles out of the drawer. If we dare open the refridgerator door or the dishwasher, she is there in an instant to see what she can dismantle. Of course she is solely responsible for the legos on the floor of the office, the piles of mail and the clothes on the floor as well!
Helena still does not sleep through the night and getting her on a nap schedule has been challenging. We have been a bit timid to demand that she sleep as we wonder how much sleep she really needs per day given our boys as toddlers only needed about 80% of what most other children need. Lately we have taken the bull by the horns and determined (with the encouragement of dear friend Scottie) a stricter sleeping schedule that allows her and us adjust to sleep time (translation: free time for parents). So now she has a designated nap time of 12 to 3. She may wake up during that period and be briefly comforted, but she does not leave her room until she has slept for at least two hours. It seems to be working, but she still often wakes after about 45 minutes. I no longer decide her nap is over but persevere for it to be longer and it seems to be working. There are moments when I wonder “what were we thinking,” or why not a three year old who is less dependent and sleeps better? I imagine I could be up rocking a 30lb. three year old at night for months on end as well. Many children from institutions have a difficult time with sleep for a long time as they adjust to their new environment and gain trust with their caregivers.
Helena has been ill, suffering from a respiratory infection and a resistant ear infection that required two rounds of different antibiotics. She also cut three teeth during the last month. All these factors, of course, impact her nights, in addition to the expected mourning cry time, which lasts an hour each night. Mike was gone last week for a trip and it was exhausting being on call 24/7, given she was waking 2-3 times a night that week. I was exhausted and could not get her to sleep for any length of time during the day. Dawn took pity on me and insisted on taking leave to help me out one night. It was sorely needed and I was able to relax and sleep for a while that night, relieved that someone else would respond when she woke. Despite the difficult nights, Helena is very happy and active during the day. Mike is now back and things are much better! The last two nights she slept from 12 to 7, so I hope this is the beginning of a new trend and we can give up the 2 am screaming hour.
The boys are doing wonderfully. They really have adapted well to having a little sister. I am so proud of them. Jacob loves to go up to her crib and get her up from her nap. We’ve come a long way from them saying, “I don’t want to pick her up if she has pee in her diaper.” (Uhhh, she always has pee in her diaper!) When I run on errands it is actually easier to have three of them than just Helena or the boys as a pair. They pay a lot of attention to her and pushing the stroller seems to keep them from messing with each other. It is wonderful to see the how much the boys have grown since they were Helena’s age, and she is a benefactor of their nurturing and playfulness.
This past Saturday I took a photography class at NOVA. I hope to get a few more skills under my belt and further my ability and artistry to photograph children. I went in hoping to be convinced to buy a new camera (digital SLR) and instead learned that there is so much more I could be doing with my current camera (a SONY Prosumer). I hope to take another class later in the spring. I have also been teaching a ballet class at Loudoun Ballet on Friday afternoons. I couldn't be in worse shape but seem to be adding value all the same.
Adopting from Russia is becoming more difficult. New laws are encouraging Russians to expand their families and adopt and they are being offered substantial financial compensation to do so. This is wonderful for those families who desire to and are capable to parent but who had to place (or intended to place) their children in orphanages because of financial considerations. There is concern that people will choose to parent who really are not capable of providing a nurturing family atmosphere, and that some children will be at risk. This will change the face of adopting from Russia for those abroad as fewer children will be available in years to come but it is a good thing that the stigma of adopting within Russia may change.
My dear friend Maureen just came home with the blind referral of her new little girl. She is only 2 weeks younger than Helena and about the same size. We are hoping, like us, they will be great friends. I am so fortunate to have met Maureen on this journey and to share all that we have experienced together. Please pray that Maureen gets invited back to Russia soon to bring her daughter home! We so look forward to the completion of her journey.
We hope you are all well and enjoying the new year. We will post some photos in the next post very soon!
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